birthdays.

Birthdays are a funny thing.

When you are young (think age 4) birthdays are the best most fun thing ever. You get to piles of sugar, see all of your friends and family, and get gobs of attention.

Fast forward a couple of years, and you get things like cars, the right to vote, and an unhealthy amount of vodka shots for free.

Fast forward another ten years and then all the sudden birthdays are less awesome. They suddenly are something that you grumble about.. It becomes more of a burden than a privilege.

I have a problem with that. I'll tell you why.

I have a small family, but everyone in it has played a special part in my upbringing. I am eternally grateful for their love and support, both in my childhood and as an adult. I have two favorite uncles. One of them is celebrating a birthday today. This is a blessing in itself, because his birthdays were almost taken away.

In April of 2011 he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I don't know how much you all know about this particular kind of cancer, but I'll tell you that it is a mean kind. 29,000 people are diagnosed each year. 28,000 don't make it. It's ruthless really.

He fought hard. He had surgery, he endured months of chemo. Recovery has presented it's own problems. But today, he is celebrating his birthday with his family. Praise be to God.

Happy Birthday! I love you dearly, and hope to visit soon. I hope you are spending your day eating lots of cake, and enjoying some SVU. You are a rockstar. Thank you for fighting. Hope your day is as awesome as you are, because if it is, you'll have the best day ever.

Until next time,
Carmen

"Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many." unknown source.



if we're going to be all honest and stuff..

Well friends, it's school time once again. I love school. I gave up a great job, a steady schedule, a (good) part of my sanity, and a lot of hours at home with my littles to head to college. Yosi works incredibly hard to support our family, including my dreams of being a doctor. A dream which requires 382 years of college. I am so thankful to have such an amazing opportunity to pursue my dreams. An opportunity that not everyone is so lucky to have. I love school.

But truth be told, I'm pretty overwhelmed at the thought of school right now.

This is unfortunate because my first class is in less than 12 hours.

As I touched on in this post, spring semester last year was incredibly difficult. It took up just about every ounce of energy, patience, and willpower I had to finish strong. It was hard. The thought of walking back into that again is hard. I have done everything I can to insure that this semester won't be like that. I am taking 5 less credits. I have arranged all of my classes on two days so I have the other three days free. I have gotten a jump start even.

I know that all will be fine. There is so much I absolutely love about college. I am just having a hard  seeing all of those things I love right now. I think part of it is just late night jitters. I know that tomorrow when I breathe in that campus air, take a walk through the library (my favorite place), and grab an unreasonably expensive cup of coffee I will feel right at home.

Jesus helps too. He knows I can do this even when I feel defeated. I plan on fully employing His strength to get me back in the right headspace. It is a brand new year with success written all over it.

I guarantee it. 
See that?! He's helping already.

Until next time,
Carmen



12:30

Today was the day. It went like this:

 

We were up early (as usual) and Christian wanted to go to school right that minute. He was devastated to hear that school doesn't start until 12:30.
 
We made breakfast and did some morning chores before dropping Nolan off at daycare for the afternoon. We got dressed and brushed our teeth. We combed our hair and made sure that there wasn't any lunch left on our faces.
 
It was just like it always has been. Christian and I doing our thing. Hanging around the house with my guy. I took a minute to just look at him. Looked at his grin, which has forever warmed my heart. Looked at how tall he is now, and at the way he carries himself. I took a minute to just look at my son who is no longer such a little boy, but rather a boy who looks ready to take on a huge adventure.
 
The rest of the day was one big photo shoot. Not even kidding. I had to make room on my memory card because there was no way that I as going to miss a moment of his first day.
 
We went and picked up Yosi so he could join us for the big drop off. We ventured over to school and walked into his classroom. Yos and I stood and watched as he walked up to his teacher and said "Hi Mrs. Kennedy, I'm glad it's finally 12:30 because I've been waiting all day". She gave him a hug and showed him to the blocks where he made himself right at home. We gave hugs (I may or may not have actually squeezed the breath out him..) and turned to leave. Out of nowhere I got this lump in my throat. It was uninvited and had incredibly poor timing. I looked back at him again, and Mrs. Kennedy glimpsed at me and smiled. She walked over and reassured me that she would take very good care of him. I did not shed a single tear.

Until we made it into the car.

I plan on taking on of these every year. The feet will grow, the goals will change, and it will be the perfect thing to display at graduation.

 

headed to orientation (yesterday).

 

a special kind of love.

 

We picked him up a couple of hours later and he was beaming with excitement. He couldn't wait to tell us how his day went, and we couldn't wait to hear. He had a fantastic time, made a friend, made an adorable fish necklace (which I have hidden away to keep forever), and ate goldfish crackers for a snack. He had PE, recess, and drank milk and water. He wants to go back first thing in the morning..

 

Poor fella will have to adjust to the 12:30 start time.

 

Until next time,

Carmen

 

 





all is well.

This is just a quickie as it is late and I'm just pooped. Things here are swell. We have been loving up the last little bit of summer while looking ahead and getting excited for fall. Yosi, Christian, and I get to go meet his teacher at his school tomorrow. Um, that's weird.

He's is ecstatic. I'm nervous. And worried. And uneasy. But kind of excited, mostly because he is jumping out of his skin with excitement. It's kind of contagious.

I'll be sure to give a detailed play-by-play of the first day happenings on Thursday night. It's so odd because Thursday is in like 28 hours and I could have sworn that Christian was still toddling around the house in diapers...

Until then,
Carmen



for your viewing pleasure.

For as excited we are about fall,

we love summer.





the bug.

My lazy days of summer are quickly coming to an end. It has been everything I wanted it to be. Laying out in the sun. Playing outside with the boys. Enjoying the freedom of the summer air. It's been the best summer yet, the hottest one too.

It's been a wonderful summer, but folks, I've been bitten by the bug. The ilovefallsomuch bug. Fall is certainly my absolute favorite season. I love the crisp air, the crunchy leaves, and that wonderful warm feeling - even when it's chilly outside.

I. Can't. Wait.

This fall is going to be especially exciting and wonderful for a few different reasons. I say this every year - and this year is no exception. We're going to have a lot going on this fall season and I am so excited.

With all of this excitement it becomes so important to remember that I should not wish my days away. I was given that advice by a very wise soul a couple of years ago and when I'm getting all excited and antsy for something that lies in the future, I remind myself that I need to live in and appreciate the moment.

Oh and I'm excited for the football that comes along with the fall too.

The weekend here was wonderful. It was cloudy and cool - perfect for relaxing. Friday night we played with the boys until bedtime and then had a late dinner date in the kitchen. I made Yosi a 'beautiful' steak (that's what the guy at the meat counter said), while I tried a new salad recipe I found (no steak here - I'm a vegetarian). I baked up some potatoes to go with, and for dessert we had strawberries and wine. It was a perfect date. Saturday we danced the night away at a wedding dance in the next town over. It was a blast, we all had a great time. It's so much fun to go out as a family, something we definitely need to do more often.

Today has been spent building towers and forts. It's exhausting work I tell you.

Until next time,
Carmen



fried.

Tonight was a night where I just put one foot in front of the other. I love love love my boys, but having a two year old and a four year old is no walk in the park. I think all humans have bad days, but when little humans have bad days the day gets really tough really fast.

Today for one reason or another both of the kiddos woke up on the wrong side of the bed. With the way the day went I'm not entirely sure they didn't roll out of bed and wake up on the floor. By the end of the night I was fried. Listening to two whining/fighting/crying/upset boys is completely draining. I know that all of you moms know exactly the feeling I am talking about. That moment where you think that they are going to fight over who gets to feed the goldfish first, and you almost start crying yourself.

Bedtime is 8pm, but both boys were showered and tucked in at 7:30 and were fast asleep shortly thereafter. I think all of us needed an early night tonight. It's days like today where I feel extra thankful for all of our good days. I know that these days happen, but I am truly grateful that they come around so rarely.

Tomorrow is a new, and brighter day :-)

Until then,

Carmen

503.

Keeping this simple as it is a lovely Sunday evening that I am planning on taking full advantage of. My plans include:

an outdoor run.

a nice hot shower.

a hot cup of tea with hubs.

and an early bedtime.

Even though I had a long list of things to do this evening I had to stop in and comment on the blog. Today was a special day for us! We've had 503 page views!!! Wow. I know that in many other blogs this is achieved daily - but for my tiny corner of the WWW this is a big milestone that I will certainly celebrate. 

I was so excited to start the blog, I think as much for myself as for any potential readers. Luckily for me, it has turned out to be even better than I was expecting. I want to thank all of you (whoever you are) for stopping by and hanging out here with us. This first six months on the blog has been such an amazing learning experience - but I am willing to bet that this next six months are going to be even more fun. Promise.

Happy Sunday,

Carmen

PS - I know somebody has to be reading this in order for the whole 500 pageview thing to happen. I'd love to hear from you - leave a comment!

the last baby.

As promised in this post, here is one for Nolan.

As I have mentioned a time or two (or three...) before I didn't ever picture myself with children. Then we had Christian. Immediately I knew that we would have to have another. I am an only child, and it is not too fun. Don't get me wrong, there are worse things in the world, but I wouldn't ever want that for a child of mine. There is a certain camaraderie among siblings. An unspoken, forever bond that cannot be replicated. I knew I wanted that in my home.

Enter, Nolan.

When we found out that we were going to have another boy I was absolutely thrilled. I was excited for Christian to have a brother, and I was pumped that I was going to be able to perfect being a mom to boys. I was not going to have to learn much about little girls, I could focus all of my mothering energy on dirt, and trucks, and guys (action figures), and all things suitable for little tiny men.


It seems as though Nolan fit perfectly into his spot in the family. He was born on a Friday morning, we brought him home on Saturday morning, and everything felt perfectly normal. Like it was always meant to be. Cliche warning: he made our family complete. I know it sounds cheesy, but really it's true.


Knowing he is our last child is bittersweet. We recently threw out all of the diapers in the house because Nolan has become a master at going potty. On one hand it is awesome that our diaper days have passed. On the other hand it is sad because it means that I really don't have a baby anymore.


But that isn't true either. Both of them will always be my little boys, but Nolan will forever be my baby. All of his big first moments will always be my last time to see a my child have big first moment. Each year, he will always be the youngest child I will have ever again.


Nolan taught me how to juggle. Not talking about bowling pins. I am talking juggle the needs of two young children, a husband, a household, a couple of cats, and still maintain my sanity (for the most part). It was only after he was born that I really fell into the groove of being the kind of wife and mother I wanted to be.

Brand new Nolan.

Little brother love.

Cake. Yum yum yum.

Nolan being handsome at 2 years old.

Nolan last month enjoying the sand and sun.

I am so blessed to be a mother to two amazing sons. They are wonderful and joyous and make my life so chaotic wonderfully full. They are some special little boys and I don't know how I could ever be so lucky to be their mom.

Until next time,

Carmen