sickness.

I was sick last week with a terrible head cold that I whined about for at least four days. That is why I was MIA from blogland. It was not a huge deal at all.

But now there is a big deal. Christian is sick. With pneumonia. Again. It breaks my heart to see him feeling so crappy. He is not in the hospital (yet -  fingers crossed!). Currently he is on the couch, watching cartoons, and eating snacks. I plan to keep him just exactly like that for at least the next five days.

So I'll be out for the next couple of days tending to my sick little guy - but check back because I've been working on Nolan's Post (if that means nothing to you check out this one).

Until next time,
Carmen

pray today.

Today I prayed. I went to my church when there was no service. I sat in an empty pew - I was the only one in the whole place. It is not often I feel the need to go to church to pray. I usually just pray wherever the urge strikes me. Not today. I wanted to be as close to God as physically possible. I needed to be sure that he could hear me - so I went to his house.

I prayed for those I love. I prayed for those who make my life difficult. I prayed for strength, grace, patience. I thanked God for shining light on my family each and every day. I thanked God for blessing me, my children, and my husband with health. I prayed for my family, my extended family. I thanked God for giving me such wonderful people to love. And I reminded Him about shining some light on them too. Please.

Today I prayed because it was about the only thing that made sense.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I have faith (I had to dig real deep to find it) that at least some of those prayers will be answered.

Until next time,
Carmen

pancake date.

*this post is all lovey*

We are boring people. We have a routine that we like and we stick to it. It's not a strict routine - but our days are comfortably predictable. The end of evenings are wonderfully the same. We tuck the boys in at 8pm. We do our own thing until 9pm. At 9pm I make us some hot tea and then we sit on the couch together and watch something on netflix (lately it has been Prison Break). We watch an episode (sometimes two), and are in bed by 10:30. It's a wonderful set-up we have and I like it very much.

The other night we had turned off the TV and I was grabbing a glass of water in the kitchen before heading to bed when Yosi walked through and said 'gosh I kind of want pancakes'. We both kind of looked at each other and decided that pancakes sounded like a great idea. We stood in the kitchen at quarter to 11, in our jammies, making pancakes together. I'm not even a fan of pancakes (or carbs after 3pm), but I was not about to miss the moment.

We stood side by side mixing up the batter, pouring and flipping the cakes, and then grabbed one plate and two forks and dove right in. It was one of those memories I will always carry in my heart. It has to be on the the very best dates we ever had. Right in the kitchen. With a cheapo box of pancake mix. Just the most perfect break in our wonderful routine.

Until next time,
Carmen



books.

Reading books has become a staple of my summer. I love to read all year round, but during the school year most of the reading I accomplish is straight out of a text book. Now that I am loving up my free time, I am enjoying a bunch of non-science reads.

I was out to lunch with my mom the other day - when I went to grab my wallet out of my purse I realized that I had 4 books in my purse too! I usually try to keep a book with me, just in case I'm out somewhere and get bored, but I was surprised to find four of them.

I remember a short period of time when I was a child when I disliked reading. Obviously that phase passed quickly. Now I cruise through books left and right. I am a quick reader and it does not take me much time to get through a good book. This is both a blessing and a curse. It means that I am always on the look out for a new books, but it's nice that I can read a lot in a relatively short amount of time.

I do hope that as the boys grow up they learn to love books as much as I do. I will see to it that this habit is strongly encouraged along the way.. That does not make me pushy. Just insistent in the most cheerful way.

Enough for now,
Carmen



firstborn.

I think there is always something about your firstborn. Don't get me wrong here I love both of my boys so very much - but there is a certain something different about the first child.. He is the link. The piece that brought everything together. He made me a mother.

Before I met Christian I was just kind of going about. Wandering around - stumbling over this and that. Life was fine, but it wasn't quite right. I was not the greatest teenager ever - in fact I'm surprised my mother ever put with me. As I've said before, I never thought I wanted any children. The thought of another life depending on me scared me to death (sometimes I still does a little - hey it's kind of a big deal).

When I was pregnant I decided that I would read absolutely everything I could find on parenting. I figured that this child at least deserved parents who knew what the heck they were doing. So I read and read and read. I learned a lot about breastfeeding, and car seat safety, and baby proofing your home. But there was still something missing. I didn't really know how I was going to be a mother - I mean I didn't even know this baby and how could I be sure that I would know how to really love a child like a mother does.

Well, then I met Christian. After a long 29 hours of labor a nurse placed this tiny bundle of blankets in my arms. I looked at him. He looked at me. We knew each other perfectly. Everything else that I was so worried about just seemed to fall into place. I knew in that moment that the love that a mother has for her son does not need to be learned, it just is. It can't be taught in a book or a parenting class. It is infinite. It was always there, just waiting for him.

I am getting all sentimental and lovey because my little (big) man will be going to junior kindergarten this year. I was sitting here this morning filling out his school paperwork and it took me back to when he was just a tiny bundle of blankets.

6month old Christian in the bath.

8month old Christian looking adorable.

1year old Christian testing his new walking skills on his first birthday.

Enjoying some cake and kisses on his 2nd birthday.

Blowing out candles on his 3rd birthday.

Soaking up the sun at 4 years old.

He's a pretty neat boy. We love him a bunch and absolutely can not believe that he is growing so fast.

Until next time,

Carmen

PS: Nolan we think your awesome and there are lots of special things about being the last baby too. Don't worry, your post is coming soon.

being all optimistic.

I am an eternal optimist. Ask anyone. Sometimes I think it can even be slightly annoying, but I don't mind much. Today at work I was asked "gosh, why are you so happy all of the time?" Well here is your answer:

I'm not always happy, but I choose to think happy thoughts a good majority of the time.

Thinking happily is a fun way to think. It is not always easy. And no - it does not always come naturally. It is a choice. It is a promise you make to yourself - that you will seek the goodness in all that life has to offer. It is an ongoing commitment to always try desperately to find a bright side even in the darkest of hours.

I have been blessed to have a comfortable life. I have a loving husband.. beautiful sons.. a cozy place to call home with plenty of food to eat... But when I say that I have been blessed, I do not mean that it has been easy.

Just like everyone else, I have had to face trials of my own. Heartache. Sadness. Anger. Guilt. Fear. Life is just like that sometimes. When people say that life isn't fair they really aren't joking around. When I think about it I'm not sure which came first... My positive outlook that helped me during the trials in life.. or the trials in life that helped me develop my positive outlook on life.

It doesn't matter much now. What does matter is that I continuously choose to look for the positives, even when they seem completely absent.

I look around at this wonderful time in my life and thank God for bringing me to this feeling of contentment. I thank God even for the trials in life, because they make triumph taste oh so sweet.

Until next time,
Carmen



shallow for a second.

I want that necklace. I'm not much for material things- stuff is stuff. But today (mostly now that I was cruising pinterest and saw this thing again) I feel like being shallow and wanting this necklace. Does it make it slightly less shallow that I mostly want it because being a wife is one of my favorite things?

Ok well now that I got that moment out of my system we can move on to the important stuff.

Of which there is none.

While that isn't exactly true, there is not much to report from here. Summer days are (really) hot. Boys are good. I am loving all that life is right now.

Oh I almost forgot!
So...the year is half over. Not exactly sure how that happened.

And I've been running like a madwoman and I feel amazing (when my legs are not screaming at me).

And with the 4th so close I pray that everyone will please use caution when celebrating with fireworks.

That is all for now.

Until next time,

Carmen