science snack.

I've decided that I'm making these for Christian's next snack day. I'm not usually one for processed sugar and artificial coloring, but when a snack can double as a science lesson I'm all in. I mean, please. 

That is all for today. Just some cute licorice DNA to prove that I'm still alive and well. Be back soon. 

Carmen

being beautiful.

I'm beautiful. So are you. 

Really. 

I know, I know... It's annoying. But in all seriousness, we all have that judge-y and mean voice living inside our heads. You know who I'm talking about, she sounds like this:

Good grief Carmen that sweater looks ridiculous. Find something else to wear.

Your house is a mess. Why can't you just keep it neat?

She just had a baby an hour ago and look she's in a bikini! Why didn't your body work like that?

Girl, please! Keep those thoughts in your head, the blog doesn't need any more inspiration from you.

You know her too, right? She whispers yucky nothings in your ears all day. There is this constant interplay going on about how you are not good enough for this or that. Bullying is a hot topic these days, but nobody seems to talk about all of the bullying we put ourselves through. 

Give yourself permission to put that lady out of business. She doesn't know the first thing about you, your worth, or your sweater.

Easier said than done? Yeah, I know. It's quite a solemn fact that it has become the norm to live with this constant dissatisfaction that oozes into every aspect of our lives. That tiny voice is ruining your potential.

It's not supposed to be that way. I really don't think it is. I think we are supposed to embrace our talents instead of dwell on our 'shortcomings'. I think that we are supposed to rejoice in what we have instead of envying those who have more. And while I am all about self improvement, I think that at the end of the night we are supposed to love who we are right now.

Not after we get the promotion.
Not after we lose the weight.
Not after we get the guy.
Not after we finally figure our what it is our purpose is here.
Not after anything.

Now. Today.

I am pretty much the poster child for learning more. I am always striving to improve my brain, or my spirituality, or my legs. I'm not denying that, but that isn't exactly what I'm talking about either. I'm talking about a sense of contentment that under girds the ins and outs of your everyday. It's hard to come by, but worth finding.

Until next time,
Carmen

sibling stuff.

So I have talked at you before about how I was an only child... how it's kind of blah to be the only one. I have also posted (a lot) about how much I love my husband. Well, woven into that story comes another story that I love. 

When I got married I got brothers too. 

Yosi comes from a family of three boys. Osmar is almost(!) 17, and Daniel is 12. They are some special guys. I don't say that because I'm obligated though. I say it because it's true. I love both of these guys so much. In this post I'm going to talk about Osmar, but Daniel's is coming soon along with the project that him and I are working on together. 

So this Osmar and I have always had a special kind of bond. There was a time shortly after Yos and I got married where we lived with his folks (...yep, that's another post for another day). And while it was an overall trying time, it was a perfect time for some bonding with this guy. I would help him with his homework and he would help me with Christian or would come along on errands. He was at that age where it was cool to hang out with his brother's wife, and we did just that.

Fast forward a couple of years and he is getting grown up before my very eyes! Turns out he is good at everything (think: soccer, track, basketball, anything that involves being fast, math, charming his female classmates, being a friend and teammate) and I'm kind of proud of him. Kind of a lot. 

I get sit on the stands and cheer him on as he runs, or dribbles, or makes goals. I got to sit in the passenger seat of the car when he learned to drive. I get to sit on the couch with him when his high school problems warrant some advice. I got to sit and watch him walk into his first day of work. I get to sit at the dinner table with him and talk to him about college visits and long term goals. I got to sit on the floor of his room with him when his first love found someone else. I get to watch him turn into the fine young man that I knew he would be (afterall, Yos has set an pretty impressive example).

I get a brother. And he gets a sister. And while he may not admit it now, I know that it is something we both cherish. It probably helps that we didn't grow up together. There is no sibling rivalry, or grudges, or terrible memories of wrestling over toys at Christmas. Instead there is this camaraderie, trust, and respect. 

I didn't know much about sibling love. About how when you see them succeed you feel so much pride it almost hurts. Or how when you see them struggling... well that hurts too. It's a role I treasure, and I am so thankful that my husband just happened to come with some siblings. 

The other day I was talking with some classmates and I heard myself say "You know, my brother mentioned ..." And even though it's been quite a few years, hearing it still brings a big grin to my face. 

Until next time,
Carmen

life is happening

Shhhh! Don't tell anyone that I have four baskets of unfolded laundry in my basement. You could also leave out the little fact that I have breakfast dishes in the sink... from yesterday.

This is not the point behind the post - but it felt good to get it off my chest.

Of course life has been busy, that's just how we like it around here.

Christian is loving school (of course). He just eats it up. I have a lot of favorite parts of my day, but hearing about his day at school is pretty high up on that list.

Nolan is three now.... Um. That's weird. He had a great birthday. Just a couple of days before his birthday we all spent the night awake with crying Nolan. Both of his ear drums blew before we could get him to the doctor at 9am. There is nothing quite like knowing your child is suffering and not being able to do a thing about it. Luckily, his ears are looking much better and he is back to his bouncy self.

Yosi is fantastic. Working hard as usual and happy that the high outside today was 44 instead of -15. This guy makes me proud to be his wife every single day. I admire a lot of people, but he might be my biggest inspiration.. I'm not going to get winded here shocker - but I am feeling extra appreciative of him these days.

As for me, well I am doing quite well. School is reeaallly busy. Really busy. But, I am taking some great classes this semester. Thought provoking, insightful, and right up my alley. Most of my classes anyway - anything looking like algebra will always and forever be a thorn in my side.

My uterus is doing great. I had an ultrasound and some blood work last week and I passed with flying colors. Things are really coming up quickly and I'm looking forward to seeing Jack and Jill. I am feeling positive about the upcoming transfer. Between the acupuncture, the yoga, the juicing, the high green/low gluten/no caffeine/anti-inflammatory/high quality whole food diet, the meditation, and the newly found peace of mind I am employing, I think our chances are better than ever. All of this of course does not include my daily steroids, injections, vitamins, and added hormones. If this is not the recipe for success I don't know what is.

I know there are no guarantees, but I wouldn't feel good about myself without truthfully being able to say that I did absolutely everything I could to be as hospitable as possible for the embryo(s).

Also... Spring is around the corner. Ok well, it's at least visible in the distance when you peek your head around the corner anyway.

Until next time,
Carmen