enjoying.

What a handsome group of guys, eh?

I mean really.

I took above photo over the weekend on an evening fishing trip. Do I love fishing? Not particularly, but I don't hate it either. Yosi really enjoys it, and the boys are just tickled when they get to go along. All of that combined with the lovely setting, fresh air, and plentiful snacks we bring along, it's a fun way to spend a beautiful afternoon.

I feel as though summer is going quickly. Too quickly almost. But then I hear that little voice in my head taunting me with football, soccer games, school (for me, and for Christian!), the pumpkin patch, weather that I want to eat up with a spoon, crunchy leaves, and cider... That's when I think that time is going at an appropriate rate. 

What else does fall bring? A baby. For Jack and Jill, of course. I'm not yet at that point where I'm ready to be done. I'm just not. I'm not miserably uncomfortable, I'm still sleeping relatively well (thanks again to Jack and Jill for the AMAZING pregnancy pillow!), I'm getting around well, and overall I'm just enjoying this pregnancy. Maybe the enjoyment is easier to find because this is surely my last pregnancy to enjoy?

About that - 

Yosi pulled a prank on me the other day. We were laying in bed when he said, "maybe we should think about having another baby.." Obviously I start laughing. Between my cackles of laughter I snort out "You can't be serious!". He assures me that he really does think we should at least think about it. 

Ummmm. In my head I'm still laughing, but it's swirling quickly into a panic. I'm thinking that he has really been pushing for us to get a dog, which I am adamantly against. Now he wants a baby? I don't want one of those either. Hell, he probably wants a baby and a dog. DO WE EVEN HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON AT ALL? we had a plan. we had dreams. we just bought a car without third row seating. we can go on trips and not worry about what to do with a dog. a trip for a family of four that we probably won from the radio station. dogs don't even like me. my life is spiraling out of control. 

Then, Yosi starts laughing and I look over and can tell that he was just pulling my leg and he knows that I am about to have a heart attack. Deep freaking breath. 

What about another surrogacy? 

I get this question a lot. Up until recently I just hemmed and hawed over it.. "Oh, we'll see!". That is not my response anymore. My answer is a confident and happy, "Nope, this is it!". Then I get a bunch of people who assume that I've hated the experience, have turned into an emotional wreck, have a terrible/nonexistent relationship with my intended parents, and/or want to make a lifetime movie and keep the baby.

It is so much the opposite of any of the above. 

I have LOVED this experience. I LOVE my intended parents and the relationship we have built. I DO NOT want to keep Bunny, and I feel ecstatic about watching Jack and Jill take their baby home. 

I went into this surrogacy thing for an experience. I wanted to help create a family. I wanted to experience another pregnancy. I wanted to be a part of something so much bigger than myself. I will have done all of that, and in an adventure that certainly could not be matched. I feel like trying to top this experience will only leave me disappointed, and that is not the flavor of surrogacy I want left in my mouth. I will relish all that this experience has to offer, and I will always keep this chapter of my life close to my heart, because it truly has been life changing. That being said, when this chapter comes to an end, I will reread it with shining eyes and a glowing heart, and then I will close it and move onto the next great part of what life holds. 

Until next time,

Carmen