boys.

Being a Mom-of-Boys is no easy task, really it's not. There are lots of fart jokes, their usual volume is loud, dinner conversation revolves around sports (and spiders), they love to wrestle, and run, and somehow they always find a way to get dirty right before we need to leave the house. 

It's not easy. I've had my fair share of "I am NOT cut out for this" moments, but they are fleeting, because with one look at their handsome (albeit dirt-covered) little faces somehow I figure that everything will be fine. And it will be. When I keep in mind the men I want them to grow up to be, I have an easier time separating big deal things, from no-big-deal things. I have compiled a few thoughts about some big deal things I can attempt to impress upon their little minds. 

We can show them about hard work.

Hard work comes with reward. The world doesn't owe you anything, go after what you want and earn it. Yosi works hard to support us, and has worked his way up in the company. I hope that one day the boys will see and appreciate all of the hard hours he puts in at work, and how by working hard and by being a kind person, he has opened so many doors for our family.

We can show them about the value of an education.

 It's not easy being a mom who is also a student, but it's even harder to be an adult in America with no college degree. Go to college. 

We can show them about being a good friend.

Whether they like it or not, they are each others first best friends. They will learn the most about how relationships work by how they interact with each other. By letting them work out their own disagreements, we can help them build skills that will benefit them on the playground, in the classroom, in the office, and in their homes as adults. Unless one of them is bleeding, or all other attempts have failed, we can serve them best by stepping back and letting them work it out between themselves. 

We can show them that life happens away from a screen.

Sometimes it makes me the meanest mom in the whole world, but by turning the TV off, I let them find ways to explore. Bugs in the yard, forts in the living room, a trip to the beach... Interacting with others and with the world we live in is way more fun than the TV induced coma that is so tempting for us all..(Grey's Anatomy? guilty.).

We can show them to appreciate their bodies.

If you treat your body well, it will return the favor. Eat colorful, real food. If it comes out of a crinkly package, just put it down. Move around. Use your body for your life. Hike, run, play. You'll feel better for longer, and that is important. Respect yourself and treat your body as it deserves (you only get one, afterall). 

We can show them a marriage.

Being in love with another person is not easy. Sharing your life with another person is not easy. By letting the boys witness the type of selflessness required in a marriage we hope that they'll go into their own relationships with an idea of what it takes to make it work. But it's not all dreary and dreadful! Yosi and I cuddle on the couch, and dance in the kitchen during dinner prep sometimes. We kiss before we leave the house (and lots of other times too!) and we say "I love you" when we hang up the phone. We go on kid free dates to enjoy each other's company over something other than chicken nuggets. Likewise, we don't hide the fact that we don't always see eye to eye. By seeing how conflict can be resolved respectfully, by give and take, we hope that someday they'll be able to employ the same set of skills with the people they love. Except money, we never ever discuss money stuff around the little guys. We don't think they need to be concerned/involved in family finances.

We can show them what makes a hero.

We live in a world where little boys are taught that heroes wear capes and fly around saving the world. I want to teach my little boys that the real heroes are those men and women wearing sandy boots fighting for our freedom. Real heroes are the soldiers, and the teachers, and the doctors who help us when we're sick. A flashy suit is nice, but heroes are people who are out there in real life, making this world a better place in ways big, and small. 

We can show them that it's not the outside that matters.

On that same note, we live in a world with a very specific criteria for beauty. Beauty does not come from a certain sized waist, or a particular brand of clothes. Beauty comes from within, and that is important to remember. It is more important to the be interesting than beautiful. It's not ok to pass judgement based on how somebody looks, to do so would only be a great disservice to yourself. 

We can show them that kindness should be a way of life. 

Manners are important. Still are, and always will be. Every request should include a please for the rest of your life. Hold the door for women, children, the elderly, and anyone else around. Show respect for every person, even if they have nothing to give in return. Smile at folks you see, and greet people warmly. Don't ever look down on anyone unless you're an extending a hand to help them up. 

We can help them understand that life really is short.

Love the people you surround yourself with. Make time for the people you love and who love you. Travel. Eat amazing food in amazing company. Fall in love. Sometimes it's ok to stay up late on December evenings making Christmas cookies and drinking hot chocolate. Find something you love, and find a way to make it your life. Help people, even when they wont' be able return the favor. Take risks. The best way to enjoy a summer day is in the sun next to a body of water... even if there is laundry to be folded. Live a rich and fulfilling life, and when things get hard, or your heart is broken, or you realize that the risk you took wasn't very well calculated... We're always here. Forever and ever. 

Being a Mom-of-Boys is not easy, but it's amazing all the while. Looking at the big picture during our daily routine, I'm able to see how it really is the little things that they'll take with them.. The little things have a funny way of becoming the big things anyhow.

Until next time,

Carmen