friendly question askers.

 

the post has a lot to do with this one.

 

 

friendly question asker - Carmen, why on Earth would you decide to be a gestational carrier?

 

me - (standard answer) Well a couple of years ago I read about surrogacy in an article and Glamour magazine and I thought it was pretty awesome. I waited until the time was right, and after many discussions with Yos, we decided to move forward pursuing it.

 

90% of friendly question askers - Hmm. So what all do you have to do?

 

other 10% - Ok. But.. why, though?

 

Today we're going to talk about the answer for the other 10%.

 

This is a tough one to answer, simply because it is such a loaded question. I'll do my best, but it will probably involve a bunch of rambling mixed in.

 

The love a mother has for her child is unlike any other love in the world. Children are a blessing from God, in the most absolute sense of the word possible. To want to experience that kind of love, and not be able to go about making it the traditional way is something I know nothing about.

 

It is quite the understatement to say that Yos and I have no trouble conceiving. When I first read that article in Glamour, I started digging around and I was shocked by how many couples struggle with infertility. When I sat and thought about all of these women (and men) whose hearts were desperately wanting to love children something lit up in me.

 

I knew I could help. And here I am.

 

Hold up. Adoption?

 

People usually don't turn to gestational surrogacy on a whim. When on the journey from infertility to parenthood there are a few different paths to choose from. That choice is highly personal and individualized to the couple at hand. Folks want to know why Jack and Jill (and intended parents as a whole) don't adopt instead. This to me is odd, because not one person has ever walked up to me and asked why I decided to have biological children instead of adopting. Not a single one.

 

It would be a lie to tell you that the only reason I wanted to be gestational carrier was because it would be impossibly difficult to want children and not be able to have any the traditional way. I love being pregnant. Love it. I have been pretty lucky so far to have a pretty easy time being pregnant. I'm good at it. I enjoy feeling exhausted and losing sight of my feet. not sarcasm. The sense of joy, the appreciation for my own ability, and the fun little baby jabs make it a wonderful experience.

 

The way I see it, it's a win-win. I get to enjoy a pregnancy, and at the end Jack and Jill will have a beautiful addition to their family.

 

Wait. Don't you already have a lot going on?

Yes I do. I love it. Yosi and I thought long and hard about this carrier thing, and the timing couldn't be better. I have this simple understanding of life in general : it's temporary. I want to make sure that while I'm here I live as passionately and fully as possible. If I had to say right now, I think I'm doing pretty good so far.

 

Until next time,

Carmen